Helvetica

You know you are a font geek when:

• You watch a documentary on a font.
  
  
• Your kids look at you like you are insane because you are watching a documentary about a font.
  
  
• You and your significant other both look at each other when they interview Hermann Zapf and you both think "Dingbats" at the same time.
  
  
• You think that being international font marketer sounds like a cool job.
  
  
• You know Tobias Frere-Jones designed Gotham.

Why yes, we do own both wood and lead type. We also own a coffeetable constructed from old typecases and type. One of the best gifts we were ever given. Thanks, Brenda and Rob!

So, um, where's the pink?

I got tired of it.

I switched to pink as my personal theme after my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago. It was a huge symbolic f-you to cancer.

I was ticked. My mom had none of your typical risk factors. It was only her insistence on the boob-squish that resulted in early diagnosis, treatment, and Thank you, God, a great prognosis.

My red hair and pink do not generally go together. But pink is the color of those who support the fight against breast cancer. So I changed it up. I blogged in pink. I wore pink sweaters and dresses.

Anyone who tells you adults can't be childish and petty hasn't met enough adults. We can. We may just display our childishness in strange ways.

I've mellowed a bit since that angry time. This past year I've tried to gain some perspective and figure out where I want to go from here. Note to my 20-something-aged readers: You don't ever really figure it out. You change, and you rethink, and you start over again.

So, in 2011, I've decided I've moved beyond pink.

Somewhat.I still have the pink sweater. Pink and red hair do go together. I say so.

I'm doing things for me. I am running in a 5K again, because I can. (as soon as I kick this nasty sinus thing I caught.)

I am lurking less on the dark corners of the Internet in the name of "research" and spending more time writing creatively. I miss that, and these past 18 months have been all about getting a job, keeping a job, and just staying afloat. Writing and running and piano playing and the things I enjoy just seemed to fall by the wayside.

I'm taking my life back.

I am going to land a job as an adjunct, because I miss teaching. That's a part of me that has been lost, too. I'm taking it back.

I'll still rock the pink. I'm just planning to be a bit more reserved and adult about it.

Me v. MommyMe

It was the episode of "Parenthood" last week that really hit me. The mom was trying to explain something to the teen daughter, trying to prove that her voice had value. The teen was, of course, blowing her off.

It took the dad taking the teen daughter to the park her mom helped create during her years on city staff to prove that mom not only had worth, mom did some pretty cool things pre-kids.

That's me. That's every one of my friends.

It's like we live two lives, constantly in tension. There's the Us-Who-Do-Career-Things. We do damn cool work. I've put together textbooks, edited and written stuff that city planning students are apparently forced to read as coursework. I've edited websites and alumni magazines.

Heck, I just presented at a major conference last week as an expert in a session. Scary, I know. But true.

My kids are oblivious. They only know me as Mom, washer of clothes, finder of stuff, cooker of food.

I have tried to show my eldest that I do cool things. Meh. She won't even read my books.

It isn't just Mommies who get this treatment, apparently. My husband presented at a different session. We were gone four days. We came back, the kids shrugged, and when we mentioned at dinner how our presentations went, the eldest looked at us funny and said, "You presented?"

Perhaps that is how it should be.

I never knew, until he was too old to care, that my crotchety grandfather was apparently well-known enough to win multiple awards for corn production, that he was one of the men on the board of our church who rebuilt the structure from scratch (although I do wish now he'd stuck to his opinion that they needed 12 more pews in back and put the choir in a true loft), who fought the county commission and had them construct a real bridge, rather than an old-fashioned ford crossing, over the creek near our family's farm.

But it sure would be nice for the younger generation to see that we have more than one facet of our identity, kwim?

Family chaos crazy

Sorry folks. It's been insane lately.

It does not help that blogging non-work things is verboten in the current job, so by the time I make the commute home, make dinner, deal with kid crisis, laundry, and whatever freelance work is on my desk, I just haven't had it in me to write anything.

It isn't going to get better any time soon.

But we are alive. Easter was great. First Communion next. If you are in ACES, you'll be able to meet Mr. and Mrs. Mommy-Tracked, because we'll be in Philly presenting.

After that, it is home, 8th birthday party for the son, sleepover for the eldest. Then we crash.

So, maybe I'll be back. Maybe it will be May. But I"m alive.