08 April 2008

Career guilt

It's time for some professional development, some professional bonding, and maybe a bit of networking to get outta SWMO.

In 24 hours, I'll be hanging with a bunch of people who are even more grammarian geeky than I am.

The American Copy Editors Society conference starts Thursday. I'm just glad to be with people who understand the entire concept of apostrophes, capitalization, and can debate the use of the serial (or Harvard) comma.

I have mixed feelings about going. It's the mom conundrum: I want to do something for me, for my career, and by extension, will better my family. But I don't want to miss my kids for three days, miss a soccer game, miss the possibility of my eldest winning a regional science fair award (she finds out on Thursday). I hate to leave hubby in a lurch, trying to get all three kids hither and yon on his own. I did ask my bro to help out (thanks, bro!), but I feel guilty that I did that.

I swear, does the guilt end? Ever? I'm trying to not feel guilty about this, because I know I shouldn't, and because my boss is (quite frankly) making me go to this. But I still feel guilty leaving my family because I won't be there to help make things go smoothly.

Heck, I know they'll survive. They can cook. Two of the four people normally in the house know how to operate the stove and can do laundry. But I know how much harder it is with just one parent there, and I hate leaving hubby to juggle it all on his own, even for a few days.

I hate knowing I won't be there to fix the hurts, the slights, and help with homework. I won't be there to cheer on the eldest at either the game or the science thing.


Anonymous said...

I'm not sure the guilt ever ends...but the kids seem to forget...at least, so Greg and Brad tell me. Perhaps they just say that to make me feel better? They survived and so will yours, and they will be stronger for it. Mom M.

Cissy said...

Wish I could say the guilt ends, but it doesn't. Still feel it when I plan a cruise and know that I could probably use the money instead to help my son pay for dance lessons etc. But sometimes, you have to let go, know that what you are doing is in the end best for your kids. Parenthood doesn't mean having to completely surrend yourself. Close. But not all. :)

Sherrie said...

Thanks guys!

I did have fun, and while C2 has tried to make me promise that I'll never leave again, I left the guilt behind. At least, most of it.

Brad said...

You're welcome to come back to central Iowa whenever you want! :)